I am far from strong… or skinny for that matter. But it’s been a goal of mine the last couple years to get healthy again (or more likely for the first time).
I’ve never been too big into exercise. I’ve done Yoga off and on over the years. I took ballet as a little kid, and ballet jazz as a teenager. I did bellydancing for 5 years in my 20s. (I so want to take that up again it was so fun, but I can’t find classes close to me). But other than that, and taking the kiddos for walks I don’t exercise much. I’m also not the healthiest eater.
I’m 5’8″ and currently weigh about 170 lbs. So about 20-25 pounds over a healthy weight for my height.
(Just a quick note, I don’t have many skinny pics as they were mostly pre-digital camera and I couldn’t find any other albums or they’re on a disc somewhere).
I used to be super skinny. At 20 I was dating boyfriend #1 and put on a little weight after we started dating and weighed about 115 lbs. I thought I was fat.
1998, about 115 lbs.
At 22 I was dating boyfriend #2 and put on a bit more weight and was weighing around 125 lbs. Still underweight. I thought I was fat.
At 25 I started working my best paying job yet, working full-time hours and going to school almost full-time. I was single, living on my own in an apartment but I had weird hours because I had school after work some days. So I ate takeout a lot, but at home I would eat peanut butter sandwiches basically (except on the weekends when I’d go to my parents for supper). I was paying for school and my apartment mostly on my own with a small student loan to help so I didn’t eat super well. I put on some more weight and weighed around 145 lbs, which is in the ideal weight range for my height. I thought I was fat.
At 27 I was still working and going to school. I put on a little more weight, and was weighing in around 155 lbs which still wasn’t too bad for my height. I thought I was fat.
At 29 I started dating serious boyfriend #3 (who is now my hubby). He took me out to eat a lot and in the first two months we were dating I put on 20 lbs. I now weighed in at 180 lbs. Now, I actually was overweight.
I quickly put on another 15 lbs over a course of 3 years until I became pregnant with Silly Bean. So my heaviest, non-pregnant self weighed 195 lbs. Luckily I didn’t put on a lot of weight when I was pregnant and the pregnancy weight came off fast with the help of breastfeeding and I was back down to 195 lbs within a month of her being born.
Two and a half years later I became pregnant with Miss V, and again weighed about 195 lbs at the start of the pregnancy. I was sick a lot during this pregnancy (and anxious: lots of little scares happened, plus she is my rainbow baby). I didn’t put on much weight and the day after she was born I weighed 185 lbs. A month later I had lost another 5 lbs (thanks breastfeeding!).
I think the point of that whole previous bit was to address the people I see on occasion who complain about skinny people complaining about being fat. I was underweight and I thought I was fat. It doesn’t mean I think you’re fat for weighing more than me. It just means that in my anxious, depressed, insecure head, I think I’M fat, ME, not you. Don’t take it so personal. It’s not about you. AT ALL. I didn’t feel good about MYSELF. The thing is when I was skinny, I was also super anxious, shy, insecure, and I wasn’t the healthiest. I didn’t eat the best, I barely exercised. But I was skinny. So people would make comments about how good I looked but I never thought it. EVER. (And for the record, I still get anxious, I’m still shy and a bit insecure, but less so, ha)
When Miss V was about 10 months old I decided I needed to get actually healthy. For my kids, so I could have a nice long life with them and be able to keep up with their craziness. And yes, that meant losing a bit of weight. Yes, I know that I should love my body the way it is, and I do. For the first time in my life I actually love my body. I love my “mom belly” and all the stretch marks. But I still think losing a bit of weight will be healthier for me in the long run. But I want to do it healthily. I started to exercise a bit more by going for more walks with my girls and modifying my diet (but not doing any ‘diets’ thank you!)
I lost another 10 pounds over the next year, and have been at 170 lbs since the beginning of this past summer. Then at the end of July, a few days before Miss V turned 2, I wound up in the hospital with appendicitis. When they did the ultrasound to confirm the appendicitis they also noticed something else, but it wasn’t super clear, so I had to go for a CT scan. Not an experience I’d like to revisit thanks. (Although two weeks later I had a repeat scan). They had found a lesion on my spleen. Almost 6 months later they’re still not sure what it is. I’m being followed by Oncology, and there was no size change in the lesion between the scans in July/August and the ultrasound in November so for that and other reasons they’re not thinking it’s cancer although I’ll have another ultrasound in a few months to be sure. If it’s not cancer the possibility of having a splenectomy is on the table because spleens with things growing in them are prone to rupture. Anywho…
So I decided in August, that once I had fully recovered from the appendectomy that I would get more serious with exercising and with getting stronger and healthier. I wanted stronger abs, and increased flexibility. I needed something I could do at home and not needing much in terms of equipment, and something with a bit of variety. Having had an on again off again relationship with yoga, I wanted something similar but with maybe some cardio thrown in too. I found Blogilates. It’s a blog run by Cassey Ho and the exercise routines are based on Pilates. She has monthly calendars you can follow which link to her YouTube videos. It’s all free, and the routines vary day to day. She does sell things on her website so her videos do talk (a lot sometimes) about the products she sells, but you can skip those parts. 😛 I find her upbeat, not too annoying and motivating. Plus not only does she have Pilates videos but she also has some cardio ones.
I started the videos at the beginning of October (once I no longer felt like my stomach would break open when I stretched) and even though I haven’t lost any weight I feel better. Hubby says I’m sleeker. My abs are getting stronger.
In the photos above I’m wearing the same outfit. The top is the Lille Racerback tank from Greenstyle Creations and the leggings are ready-to-wear. (I had pattern tested the Lille, so I did receive it for free back then).
I may not be skinnier, but I am getting stronger.
Thank you so much Becca for letting me take part!